To be assertive is to speak to someone honestly with a direct tone of voice. This is not to be mistaken with aggression because being assertive means being respectful to someone while you address them with an issue. In order to talk to someone in an assertive manner you should always look at them face to face without any fidgeting. If you fumble with your fingers or keep looking away you will come across as nervous or distracted which will not help put your point across. Also, make sure that you listen to their response because they will be more likely to listen to you in the future.
In addition, when you raise an issue with someone you should always make use of the word "I". Always relate something back to how you feel because if you state it like it is, fact is it will come off as a generalisation and that is the wrong thing to do. You need to explain how something affects you personally otherwise you will just sound like you're whining which won't help. Always remember to keep eye contact and show calm facial expressions because you want the other person to see you as an equal. If you look like you're angry or upset then it will throw you off balance and you will seem inferior to the eyes of the person you are addressing. So, if you're annoyed at their response you must ensure you don't show it. Moreover, make sure you acknowledge the points they're putting across by telling them you understand, however if you do not think something is clear make sure you ask them to explain.
In addition, when you raise an issue with someone you should always make use of the word "I". Always relate something back to how you feel because if you state it like it is, fact is it will come off as a generalisation and that is the wrong thing to do. You need to explain how something affects you personally otherwise you will just sound like you're whining which won't help. Always remember to keep eye contact and show calm facial expressions because you want the other person to see you as an equal. If you look like you're angry or upset then it will throw you off balance and you will seem inferior to the eyes of the person you are addressing. So, if you're annoyed at their response you must ensure you don't show it. Moreover, make sure you acknowledge the points they're putting across by telling them you understand, however if you do not think something is clear make sure you ask them to explain.
